Tuesday, May 22, 2007

American Idol is already over

So over Iam not even going to watch it
Both contestants suck Blake is beyond corny and Jordin is a stuck-up priss
Meilinda won this day one- I am not even gonna watch

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

American Idoling

OK I have not watched American Idol in 2 weeks
I just tuned out that whole Idol gives back mess. I mean really you can feed the whole continent of Africa with what Idol makes so the self righteous preening and back slapping I can do without.
I mean how dare you ask me to give money when one of Simon's Armani T-shirts can feed a Village for a month.
Do I give back sure I do - I take care of my mom that raised me I give to my fam I love.
I even gave to Katrina victims but give to AI so they say-" look at us where raising money Where so Hip Brad and Angie have nothing on Us" No Fucking way
When Ryan Selfish was all we raised 70million in donations I just wanted to reach in and punch him in his Invisaline smile One visit to Africa and hes Mother Teresa

Enough of the rant and roll lets get to what AI is really about - dissin the contestants.
Phil- Horrible Horrible Horrible This guy just urks me and has from day one.
I mean he claims he is not chasing fame but he rather miss the birth of his kid than miss an audition I mean What the fuck. His Bon Jovi was like Cruise ship Disney on Ice Painful
Is he on tune - Yes
Did he remenber the words -Yes
Did He bore me to tears- Yes
His screecchy yelling made my dog Howl
And Simon aggrees

LoveHer LoveHer She pulled out all the stops and took it to church
When she did that move at the end where she squatted and brought the note up with her I got chills I had to re-run my TIVO this is the KiKi from week one we have been missing
Oh and Simon thought so too

Poor little rich girl sucked tonight
She couldn't Smile and wink her way to a good performance.
I thought she has been overpraised for a while so I felt redeemed when she was so awful
She was bad bad bad
And for once me and all the judges agree

Lord please make it stop!
No more beat boxing please this should be outlawed for everyone
Yeah I am looking at you Timberlake
Did he even sing ?
I had a mental breakdown after the first scratching noise
All of the judges must be driking form Paula's cup to enjoy this

Can do no wrong
But she really did not get the whole black rock thing down ( See Janet Jackson in Black Cat)
It was an awesome try though

Could have been worse
It pains me to say this but he did not suck
And he kept the whole nasally head boobing thing to a minimum

Who should go - Phil or Jordan
Who will go - Phil or ( I don't even want to type it) KiKi

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Waitress - a Fable of Love or Cinderella 2007

Waitress -the movie, cute fun, and If only things like this really happened.
OK Not only is Felicity gorgeous and can bake but she is also married to Jeremy Sisto.
Jeremy Sisto is Hot Buttered White-Boy
I would take a lot of crap to come home to those juicy lips!
So he smacks me around and doesn't let me have money who needs money when you have love .
I am just saying -
The slappin' and controlin' really gets to Felicity she is just to pretty to be this unhappy
So what's a girl to do?
Start something up with the hot doc (Nathan Fillion from One life to Live Ahh Joey )
Anywhoo before you can say baby daddy a fairy god father drops in and makes her life just right
I do not think I am spoiling anything here not that there is anyone even reading this but this movie just screams Happy ending from scene 1
It is just so cutesy with the "I hate my husband pie" and all that goodness Y'all
I really hate myself for liking this movie but it really is a fairy tale and what girly girl doesn't like Fairy Tales
And the acting is down-to-earth with strong performances from the whole cast especially Cheryl Hines and the late Adrienne Shelly who also wrote and directed the movie
If you like your Fried Green Tomatoes with a touch of Burning Bed this movie is for you( and me)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Hot Fuzz gives me a that warm Tingly Feeling

Hot Fuzz is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time.
It mixes all those BBC America Mysteries I like with the Actioners I love like Lethal Weapon.
There is a quaint English town called Samford that has no crime until the new Sheriff comes to town. Nick Angel played by Simon Pegg (Shaun from Shaun) of the dead is the supercop of the moment. Not since Cleavon Little rode into town in Blazing Saddles has 1 policeman - Oh excuse me police officer been such a Catalyst for Change. He won't look away when he sees underage drinking in the local pub. Those lads better look out! Simon Clegg can give Nicole Kidman a run for her crown as palest celebrity. His buddy/Partner is played by a guy who looks exactly like old Lou Costello. I kept waiting for him to Yell out Hey Abbot! That is a good thing by the way.
This movie has more Jokes than you can react too. Sly asides that you can miss if you are not used to the brit accents but I caught most of them since I am fluent in Eastender ( Thank you PBS Channel 21 WLIW I promise to give this Year) . There is also some gore so leave the wee ones at home. You should be at least 10 years old before you see anyone impaled even if it is one of the funniest scenes in the movie.
I can't wait for the DVD this is so worth a second viewing.
Oh and click for HOT FUZZ Pac man