Wednesday, May 2, 2007

American Idoling

OK I have not watched American Idol in 2 weeks
I just tuned out that whole Idol gives back mess. I mean really you can feed the whole continent of Africa with what Idol makes so the self righteous preening and back slapping I can do without.
I mean how dare you ask me to give money when one of Simon's Armani T-shirts can feed a Village for a month.
Do I give back sure I do - I take care of my mom that raised me I give to my fam I love.
I even gave to Katrina victims but give to AI so they say-" look at us where raising money Where so Hip Brad and Angie have nothing on Us" No Fucking way
When Ryan Selfish was all we raised 70million in donations I just wanted to reach in and punch him in his Invisaline smile One visit to Africa and hes Mother Teresa

Enough of the rant and roll lets get to what AI is really about - dissin the contestants.
Phil- Horrible Horrible Horrible This guy just urks me and has from day one.
I mean he claims he is not chasing fame but he rather miss the birth of his kid than miss an audition I mean What the fuck. His Bon Jovi was like Cruise ship Disney on Ice Painful
Is he on tune - Yes
Did he remenber the words -Yes
Did He bore me to tears- Yes
His screecchy yelling made my dog Howl
And Simon aggrees

LoveHer LoveHer She pulled out all the stops and took it to church
When she did that move at the end where she squatted and brought the note up with her I got chills I had to re-run my TIVO this is the KiKi from week one we have been missing
Oh and Simon thought so too

Poor little rich girl sucked tonight
She couldn't Smile and wink her way to a good performance.
I thought she has been overpraised for a while so I felt redeemed when she was so awful
She was bad bad bad
And for once me and all the judges agree

Lord please make it stop!
No more beat boxing please this should be outlawed for everyone
Yeah I am looking at you Timberlake
Did he even sing ?
I had a mental breakdown after the first scratching noise
All of the judges must be driking form Paula's cup to enjoy this

Can do no wrong
But she really did not get the whole black rock thing down ( See Janet Jackson in Black Cat)
It was an awesome try though

Could have been worse
It pains me to say this but he did not suck
And he kept the whole nasally head boobing thing to a minimum

Who should go - Phil or Jordan
Who will go - Phil or ( I don't even want to type it) KiKi

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